Failing to Act

If you are like me, sometimes you will receive a spiritual prompting from the Lord on the changes that you need to make in your life. At least, I assume I'm not the only imperfect person out there that God is shaping and improving.

If you are also like me, sometimes the changes you need to make are something you have struggled with off and on for a while. Such as, daily scripture study and personal prayer. Nothing "huge" necessarily, but something important that sometimes is forgotten about for a day or two, and then it slips out of habit again and you forget about it entirely for a while.

Recently, I asked God how I could improve and what He needed me to do in my own life. Between Stake Conference and General Conference, I received my answer. I was given a longer list than I anticipated, but I knew that those were the changes that God needs me to make. I wrote them down and vowed to myself to follow through.

Nearly a month later, I haven't been doing quite as well as I should be. I still forget, I procrastinate, and I put other things first sometimes. God is very loving and patient with us, thank goodness, because I was reminded again today about the things I had committed to changing. However, the reminder came in a different form than the list I had received before: this was a chastisement on the lack of priority I gave to the changes I need to make.

This was the thought that came to me and that I wrote down this time:

"No matter what else my schedule demands of me, I need to prioritize acting on what God has asked me to do. In the eternities, it will be more important for me to have acted on what God asked me to do than getting any degree, taking any test, finishing any paper, or accomplishing any other temporal achievement.

God doesn't want me overburdening myself because He knows that if I do, I will have a hard time keeping the things that He wants me to do in my life. If I don't have time to still do the things God asked of me and add _______________ to my schedule, then I don't have enough time to add _________________ to my schedule. I need to reserve my time for God as I have already covenanted to do.

When God corrects me, I need to act on that correction as if my very soul depends on it, for as far as I know, it may."

Changing isn't always easy, and sometimes acting on the "small" changes God needs us to make gets put on the back burner while we focus on the "more important things". I testify that there is nothing more important than acting on the promptings that we receive from God. I know that this is true. May we all have the courage to "go and do" the things the Lord commands of us.

In the name of Jesus Christ,
Amen.

Strengthening Our Family (Relations)

My husband and I were asked to speak on family relations, strengthening the family, and teaching the gospel to our family a couple of months ago, and I wanted to share my talk with you.

These topics are especially important to me.  Let me explain why. I am the second of nine children, and we all grew up in a family active in the church. However, despite the impression everyone in the ward I grew up in had about my family being absolutely perfect, my parents divorce was finalized February 2011. I have seen glimpses of the wonderful blessings that come from being obedient to the doctrine of the family, but I have seen much more of the horrible nightmares that come when you fall astray from them.

I know without a doubt that the family is absolutely sacred and essential to the gospel. It is no surprise to me that Satan is constantly redoubling his efforts on his attacks towards the family during this dispensation when our strongest spirits are coming forth, having been saved for these last days. Sister Julie B. Beck has said, “This generation will be called upon to defend the doctrine of the family as never before in the history of the world. If they don't know it, they can't defend it.” If we wish to be able to withstand the attacks of the adversary on our family units, we must know what it is that we are defending, how we can best strengthen our families against these attacks, and how we can teach this doctrine to our children so that they can also defend it.

So what are we defending? A family is built up of individual people, and our relationships with each of them are entirely unique. Before we can strengthen the whole, we must strive to be strengthening our family relations individually.

In our “Building an Eternal Marriage” Institute class, we were taught that, in the order of things, we should first take care of our own spiritual health and well-being. We cannot fully take care of our other responsibilities if we ourselves are deprived of that important relationship with our Father in Heaven. Second is our spouses; not the children yet. Note how in the temple, the parents are sealed first and then the children are brought in and are sealed to their parents. The marriage relationship comes first. Third, then, come our children, and fourth our profession.

First : Our Relationship Between Yourself & God

This means that the first relationship we should be focusing on strengthening is the one between ourselves and God. This relationship blesses us in so many ways. As the Spirit is present in our lives, we are blessed with a more cheerful disposition, more energy and strength to bear the stresses and worries in life, and we are more in tune with the promptings of God that will help us dictate our relationship with others.

Second : Our Relationship With Our Spouse

The second relationship we need to focus on is the one we have with our spouses. It was always difficult for me watching my parents fight growing up. Sometimes it was over finances, other times it was over miscommunications, and other times it was over pretty much nothing at all. 

President Thomas S. Monson has advised us to “never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.” I desperately wish that my own parents had heeded that council, for that slip up in priorities was a large factor in their divorce, although there were definitely many others.

Our spouses are to be cherished. Brethren, your wives are daughters of God, and deserve your love and respect. It always bothered me when my father would make snide remarks about my mother, devaluing her as a daughter of God and mocking her beautiful gift of motherhood. Sisters, support and encourage and love your husbands. They need to feel appreciated, accepted, loved, and not like they’re only receiving criticism. In this lifetime, our marriage is a probationary marriage. We have to work to qualify for a celestial and everlasting marriage like unto the marriage God Himself enjoys. You’re not going to have your spouse eternally unless at the end of the probation they decide they want to have you.

Third : Our Relationship With Our Children

The third prioritized relationship is with our children. When I was very small, my father used to take me out on Daddy-Daughter dates. I loved this special one-on-one time with him where I could have his undivided attention on just me so I could talk to him about whatever I wanted. It made me feel connected to him. Children need these connections, although they may not always be expressive in showing these needs or outgoing in their efforts to reach out for them. Parents need to be a part of their children’s lives and know what’s happening.

So how do we strengthen our families? Elder M. Russell Ballard voiced the same question in his talk “What Matters Most Is What Lasts Longest”, and then offered these three simple suggestions to help answer the question he posed:

1.       “Be consistent in holding daily family prayer and weekly family home evenings. Both of these invite the Lord’s Spirit, which provides the help and power we need as parents and family leaders…

2.       Teach the gospel and basic values in your home. Establish a love for reading the scriptures together… Be wise and do not involve children or yourselves in so many activities out of the home that you are so busy that the Spirit of the Lord cannot be recognized or felt in giving you the promised guidance for yourself and your family. Create meaningful family bonds that will give your children an identity stronger than what they can find with their peer group or at school or anyplace else..."

My family was also strengthened by doing things together. They never had to be big things. Working on our family garden, flying kites together, going camping, or washing the dishes together as we told ridiculous stories and laughed over them are just a few of many examples of things that have strengthened our family bonds.

We can also strengthen our families by bringing the Spirit of the Lord into our home through the teaching of the gospel.

“(Our children) could be led away if they don't understand their part in the plan... Teach them so they don't misunderstand.” Make sure “that every doctrine, every principle, everything you're teaching leads them to the fullness of the gospel.” - Sister Julie B. Beck

This may sound more difficult than it really is. It can be achieved through small things, such as setting aside time to have Family Home Evening together. When I was growing up, we hardly ever held Family Home Evening, and when we did it seemed more like a family lecture time than anything else. Make sure that when you reserve the time for Family Home Evening, you are reserving it to teach the gospel to your family. Elder M. Russell Ballard said that “Too many of our parents are abdicating this responsibility to the church. While seminary, auxiliaries, and priesthood quorums are important as a supplement to parental gospel instruction, the main responsibility rests in the home. You might want to choose one gospel subject or a family value and then watch for opportunities to teach it.” He also added “The church curriculum and magazines have many good ideas for family home evening. Also consider holding a family testimony meeting where parents and children can express their beliefs and feelings to each other in a private and personal setting.”

While I was receiving knowledge of the gospel in seminary throughout high school, there was an absence of that Spirit in our own home due to the negligence on our part in making Family Home Evening, scripture study, family prayer, or any other activity that invited the Spirit into our home a priority. After my parent’s divorce, however, my family started doing them more together, and the Spirit began to dwell in our home.

When striving to teach the gospel in their home, families should also take the time to study the scriptures together regularly so that they can learn and follow the teachings of the Lord.

“I feel certain that if, in our homes parents will read from the Book of Mormon prayerfully and regularly, both by themselves and with their children, the spirit of that great book will come to permeate our homes and all who dwell therein. The spirit of reverence will increase, mutual respect and consideration for each other will grow. The spirit of contention will depart. Parents will counsel their children in greater love and wisdom. Children will be more responsive and submissive to that counsel. Righteousness will increase. Faith, hope, and charity – the pure love of Christ – will abound in our homes and lives, bringing in their wake peace, joy, and happiness.” - Elder Marion G. Romney

President Ezra Taft Benson also taught that “There is a power in the book which will begin to flow into your lives the moment you begin a serious study of the book. You will find greater power to resist temptation. You will find the power to avoid deception. You will find the power to stay on the straight and narrow path. The scriptures are called “the words of life”, and nowhere is that more true than it is of the Book of Mormon. When you begin to hunger and thirst after those words, you will find life in greater and greater abundance. These promises – increased love in the home, greater respect between parent and child, increased spirituality and righteousness – these are not idle promises, but exactly what the Prophet Joseph Smith meant when he said the Book of Mormon will help us draw nearer to God.”

After the divorce, I was able to see the blessings that came into our home through having family scripture study and I was able to receive my own testimony to know that our efforts to bring the Spirit into our own home are greatly blessed by our getting up each morning to study the scriptures together, especially when we are consistent at it.

I testify that the family is absolutely sacred and essential to the gospel, and that as we grow to understand what it is that we are defending, establish our family relations as a priority in our lives, continually strive to strengthen our families, and invite the Spirit into our home through the teaching of the gospel to our children, we and our families will be able to withstand the attacks of the adversary on our family and be richly blessed by the Lord. In the name of our Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ, Amen.

“Amen! (An Interrupted Prayer)” by Ted Gibbons.

“My dear Father in Heaven . . .

                Yes?

Could we have a little quiet around here? I’m praying.

                But you called me.

Called who? I didn’t call anybody. I’m praying. My Dear Father in Heaven . . .

                There. You did it again.

Did what?

                Called me. You said, “My dear Father in Heaven.”
                Here I am. What’s on your mind?

But I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just, you know, saying my prayers for the night. I always say my prayers. I don’t feel good about going to sleep if I don’t.

                Oh. All right. Go on.

Are you kidding?

                You did want to talk to me, didn’t you?

Well . . . yes.

                Here I am. Talk.

I’m thankful for my many blessings . . .

                Excuse me again! How thankful?

What?

                How thankful are you for your ‘many blessings’?

I’m . . . well . . . I don’t know. It’s just a part of the prayer. Mom always told me I should always express my thanks when I pray.

                Oh. Well . . . you’re certainly welcome. Go ahead.

Go ahead?

                With the prayer.

Oh. Yeah. Let’s see . . . bless the poor and the downtrodden, the unfortunate and the afflicted . . .

                Do you really mean that?

Sure I mean it.

                What are you doing about it?

Doing? What am I doing about it? Well . . . I’m praying about it. I just think that it would be nice if you got control of things down here. I don’t like to see people suffer.

                Do I have control over you?

Sure. I go to church. I make donations sometimes. I even read the scriptures once in a while. I don’t . . .

That isn’t what I asked you. What about your temper? You don’t even have control of that, and your friends and family suffer. And then there’s the way you spend your money. And how about the kind of books you read? And the movies you see?

Well, Father, I think I’m as good as most of the people I see every Sunday at church.

And you are, but I thought you were praying for me to bless the afflicted. If that is going to happen, I’ll have to have help from the ones who are praying for it. Like you.

I understand. I guess I have a few hangups. Since you brought it up, I could probably mention some others.

                So could I. Should we visit about them?

Oh . . . Let me get back to you on that. I need to finish up here. This is taking a lot longer than usual. Bless the honest in heart to come to thy Son and receive His blessings.

                You mean people like Ralph?

Ralph?

Yes. The one you’ve taught your little brother, Joey, to call ‘Beer-belly Ralph.’ The man around the corner.

That Ralph? Ralph Swenson? You’ve got to be kidding. He hasn’t been sober since he was sixteen. And he hates organized religion.

                Why?

I don’t know.

                It couldn’t have anything to do with the names the neighborhood kids call him, could it?

OK. I get the message. I’ll tell Joey to cut it out.

                By the way, have you had a look at his heart lately?

His heart?

                I have. I’ve looked. And it’s one of those honest hearts you were just praying about.

Well, then, do something about it. Do you think I like having an atheist for a neighbor?

                Aren’t you supposed to share the gospel? I thought I’d made that pretty clear.

That’s scary. I wouldn’t have any idea how to approach him.

Try a little tolerance and friendship. Try a little service. If you get desperate, try asking me for help.

Father, wait a minute. I know I’m not perfect. But I am here, doing my duty, keeping your commandment to pray, and all of a sudden, you’re here, reminding me of all my problems.

Child, you called me. Remember? Keep on praying. I’m interested in the next part. You haven’t changed the order around, have you?

I don’t want to go on.

                Why not?

I know what you’ll say.

                Try me and see.

Please forgive me of all my sins, and help me to forgive others.

                What about David?

See! I knew it! I knew you’d bring him up. Listen, Lord. He told lies about me and I lost my job – the best job I ever had. Everyone in that office thinks I crawled out from under a rock, and I didn’t do anything except choose other friends! Am I supposed to let him get away with that?

                But your prayers. What about your prayers?

I didn’t mean that part about forgiving.

                Well, at least you’re honest. I guess you enjoy carrying that load of bitterness around, don’t you?

No, I don’t. But I’ll feel better as soon as I get even.

                Do you want to know a secret?

What secret?

                You won’t feel better. You’ll feel worse. Listen to me. You forgive David, and I’ll forgive you.

Forgive me? For what?

                For what? How much time do you have?

All right. Never mind. But, Lord . . . I don’t think I can forgive David.

                Then I can’t forgive you.

Why not?

                Because I hate to encourage hypocrisy.

Oh. All right. Please help me to control my actions and not yield to temptation.

Good. I’ll do just that. But you stop putting yourself in all those places where you can be tempted.

What do you mean by that?

Quit hanging around the magazine racks and spending so much time in front of the tube. That stuff is going to get to you sooner or later and you’ll find yourself involved in something terrible. When you do, don’t expect me to rescue you, either.

Rescue me? I don’t understand.

Think about it. You’ve done it lots of times. You put very little effort into our relationship until you find yourself in a crisis; then you come running. I know just how your dad feels.

My dad?

Your dad. The only time you talk to him is when you need something. As a matter of fact, it’s amazing how quickly the intensity of your prayers improves when you are in trouble. Do you remember some of those bargains you wanted to make with me?

Bargains? No . . . well, I don’t think . . . Oh yeah, like thet time I went to that show and met Mom’s friend on the street when I came out . . . Oh, brother!

Do you remember your prayer? I do. You said, “Oh, God, don’t let her tell my mother where I’ve been. I promise I’ll go to nothing but ‘G’-rated movies from now on.” She didn’t tell your mother, but you didn’t keep your promise, did you?

No, Father, I didn’t. I’m sorry.

                So am I. Go on and finish your prayer.

No, wait. I want to ask you a question. Do you always listen to my prayers?

                Every word. Every time.

Why haven’t you ever answered me before?

How many chances have you given me? There’s not enough time between your “Amen” and your head hitting the pillow for me to take a breath. How am I supposed to give you an answer?

You could, if you really wanted to.

                No, I could if you really wanted me to. Child, I always want to.

Father, I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?

I already have. And thanks for letting me interrupt. I get lonely to talk to you sometimes. Good night. I love you.

Good night. And I love you, too.”

Our Savior’s Love

“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.” (Robert Browning)

If we applied that quote to our Savior, and tried counting His love for us, I think that mathematically the number of ways He loves us would look something like this: (-∞,∞). However, something about infinite love is ungraspable to us. Everything in this life that we know of has a beginning and an end. How, then, can we even begin to comprehend a truly infinite love? I don’t know that we fully can in this life.

Our Savior has done more for us than any person has ever done for us. He prays for us, heals us, strengthens us, guides us, and He even Atoned for us. He will stand with us at the Judgment Seat, pleading to the Father for us. However, He doesn’t give us everything that we want because He loves us. He gives us trials, tests us, and reprimands us so that we are most benefitted in this life by His love. He knows what is best for us and because He wants us to be happy He makes us learn. That is true love.

In the book of John, I discovered a chapter while studying that I refer to as “The Prayer of the Savior.” As I was reading the chapter, in which Jesus begins praying, I realized that many of the verses are of Him praying for US! For YOU and ME!

“I pray for them: I pray not for the world, but for them which thou hast given me; for they are thine . . . I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth. As thou hast sent me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world. And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth.” – (John 17:9, 15-19)

It was for us individually that He suffered in the Garden and then hung on the cross as they crucified Him. It was for us that He rose again and conquered death three days after He had given up His spirit. He gave us the gift of The Atonement so that we could be able to be resurrected and so that mercy and justice could both be mollified at the judgment seat. The Atonement allows us to be elevated from the Fall, so that we can return again to our Father in Heaven someday. We could not pay that price alone.

It also amazes me to see how He sees us. Here is this great and powerful man, God’s Only Begotten Son, our Redeemer, a God, and He sees us not as below Him, but as His brothers, sisters, children, and as His friends.

 “And again I say unto you, my friends, for from henceforth I shall call you friends, it is expedient that I give unto you this commandment that ye become even as my friends in days when I was with them traveling to preach the gospel in my power;” – (Doctrine and Covenants 84:77)

Short of romantic interest, our Savior’s love covers every form of love possible. He truly loves us with the most pure form of love that has ever existed.

“But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever, and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.
Wherefore, my beloved bretheren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ, that ye may become the sons of God that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.”
 – (Moroni 7:47-48)

I remember once, as a young child, kneeling in prayer before I got into my bed so that I could sleep. To this day, I do not remember any of the words spoken that night. I do, however, remember what came after. Before climbing into my bed that night, I waited. Suddenly a warmth that I have never felt before filled me. Heaven had never felt closer than it did at that moment. A love too great to fill my small frame filled the room, and I knew without a single doubt that my Father in Heaven and my Savior both loved me, were proud of me and the path I was headed down, and that They stood by me. I am sure that the love I felt was just a fraction of Their love for me, for if I had felt any more, I would have had to change states, or be transfigured, so that I would not be consumed by the warmth I felt. I knelt there for longer than I had ever before after a prayer, basking in the love and warmth my Savior proffered me.

We, as Children of God, are of infinite worth to our Savior (D&C 18:10) and I know that He loves us. He stands with His arms outstretched to us, waiting to receive us if we but will open our hearts to Him and turn to Him.

I testify of these things in the name of our Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ, amen.